Divorce is undoubtedly difficult on children. Seeing the two people they love the most get separated can be heartbreaking for them. It can also affect them badly resulting in anxiety, pessimism, trust issues etc. Sadly, parents can make matters worse so here are some of the mistakes you should avoid after getting divorced.
1. Bad-mouthing the other parent
You might feel the need to complain about all the mistakes of the other parent, but you really shouldn’t. Children love both parents equally and by telling out mistakes of one another, it puts them in a very confusing situation. When one parent is bad-mouthing the other, kids feel the need of defending one but then also feel that they are turning their back on the other. It breaks them inside so avoid it.
2. Misplaced resentment
After all those fights, court cases and payments to your divorce lawyers, you’ve got so much bitterness in you; and you might unfortunately vent it out on them. Also, when you see some of the other parent’s characteristics in them, you may feel even more annoyed. For example, if you two always had problems with making the room messy since your partner was neat freak and you weren’t, your daughter might have inherited the same. In such situations, deal with your kids carefully without shouting at them.
3. Use kids for manipulation
Using your children as pawns to irritate your ex can be a very dirty move. For example, if your partner is a health freak and hates junk food, you’d probably feed the kids junk food just to get at him or her. Also, you’d try to get the kids on your side by taking them on special outings, holidays and buying them everything they ask for. The other mistake you’d do is using them as messengers. ‘Go tell your mother that I will not tolerate this anymore!’ Your kid is not a messenger so treat them with respect. If not, your partner’s child custody lawyers Melbourne will be at your doorstep in no time.
4. Ruining special events
It might be your child’s graduation, ballet recital or choir performance; they always need both parents to be present. It can be hard to be in the same room and above that sit together, but you need to fake it till you make it. Children are very sensitive to your behaviour with each other, tone and body language so they can get hurt quickly if they see you arguing in the crowd. You were invited to witness your child’s proud moment, not to pull up a fight. So bear that in mind the next time you go for a special event.
